A lesson from Internet Communications

Have you ever regretted sending or forwarding an email to others, especially if the email contains some information that you thought would be useful to others but later you found out it would not. If your answer is “yes”, then please share with me your solution for fixing the problem. Otherwise, I have experienced a small incident that could be of interest to you.

I learned a valuable lesson about email communication topic this morning.  I found an article “NGÔN NGỮ CHỈ CHỎ, Ráng nhớ để biết và tránh nhửng hiểu lầm đáng tiếc” on the Cao Bach Hac Vietnamese blogger. This article gave some basic definitions and pictures of how one might use their hands for bad language in some countries.  It also reminded readers to remember these meaningful definitions and avoid using them, especially when communicating with people from other countries.  I sent a copy of this article to my families and friends without realize that this article could cause a huge misunderstanding and mislead them in communication. And then I had a miserable day.  Instead of receiving any thank you letters from my family about the article, I got an earful from uncles, aunties, and sisters about my use of language.

First, my sister called and with an angry voice she asked, “Are you mad at me? Why did you send me the email about bad language?” I was confused and shocked by her accusing me of bad language. After a few seconds I realized that the email that I sent last night had caused a huge misunderstanding between my sister and me.  I had to explain to my sister that my main goal for sending the article is to help my family to avoid any wrong communications or implication with people from other countries by incorrect use of their fingers or hands. Sometimes, without knowing it, what one considers good turns out to be bad in another country or culture.  For example: in United State when a person gives you a thumbs up that means good but in Thailand it is considered  bad language. Therefore a thumbs up will never be used in Thailand to avoid any fights. When a person holds his/her fingers up to indicate two or five, that jesture will be considered bad language in Australia and Greece.  My sister understood my points only after I explained these ideas to her.

 However, the battle of misunderstanding about this article was not over yet. At least five similar emails from my aunts and uncles were waiting for me in my mail-box. Each person had chosen different words to complain about from my email but they all had the same opinion. To avoid any more headaches from the rest of my family, I had to send a clarification email to everyone on the mailing list. The email contained my intention and goals for sending the article. I also informed them that I was not trying  to offend  anyone in particular nor I was trying  to learn any bad language, and lastly, I requested them not to misconstrue  my idea any further. I assured them that I had no intention to mislead them in anyway. Also, I apologized to them for any inconveniences that my email had caused.  I had to write this email in Vietnamese, otherwise my families would complain that I did not respect them. For Vietnamese people, nothing can repair the problem if one is accused of not respecting one’s the elders.

 After this apology, I hoped that the complaining about my email would  stop and my mistake would be forgiven. I have learned that words can be twitched around and caused huge misunderstandings for others.  I must be careful what I say or send to others. Sometimes a good thought or advice can become a nightmare, especially if one lives in another culture. Wars can start if words are incorrectly used. For the rest of my life, I will never forget this experience nor my innocent mistake.   I want to share this story with you so you can learn from my small error.